Dis month has been a total disaster & nitemare for me.After one incident another happens.

After wat i went thru wif Lan recently lom sempat nk nafas i was hit by another bad & shocking news dis tyme by Rizzal.

Between me & Lan i admit dat i m quite upset bt wat happen bt wat Rizzal did to me is the worst impact i ever feel aft so may years.

Yup i admitted dat i m a heartless bitch who is so smart dat i was neva being caught before for ma acts before bt aft dis incident i begin to feel regret for watever i've done behind Rizzal all dis while.

He put up wif all my nonsense & i still cld not accept him aft wat he has done to me all dis while.Bt aft i came back fr Bali,tings changed..Rizzal changed..& my whole world changed.

The old Rizzal i noe is juz not der.Neva do i xpect him to change in juz one week.
He blamed me for not spending tyme wif him all dis while,sick & tired of ma attitude & the dae i insisted to go Bali is the last shot for him.

If i noe dis will happen, i will definately cancelled my trip & spent my bdae wif him instead.I will not quarrel wif Lan & Paktam also & tings will b as normal.
My Bali trip has cause me so much tears,griveness & pain.

I noe all dis happens becos of me.Being selfish & wana the best of both worlds.
I admit after i cum back fr Bali, i wana to concentrate on Rizzal & luv him as much as he luv me.Bt i m abit too late to make all those changes.

Now wat Rizzal leave me is juz memories & tears.I neva noe i wld hit dis hard if ever Rizzal leave me.Becos i always took him for granted.Now i finally gt the answer,Rizzal apperance in ma lyfe reali create an impact on me & my feelings for him is real.He has always been der in ma heart bt i m juz too blind to see it.
Yes i admit dat i lyke Lan bt he's not my type & we only having lust not love bet us.

Am i too late to say "I LUV U TOO" to Rizzal now? Yes i m too late to start all over again wif him.Am i stupid not to appreciate him at the first plc? Yes i admit dat.

He is the guy who is able to make me cry & bring so much tears & sadness on me..
He is the guy whom i luv..Bt its juz too late..

Wat cums around goes around..Im to b blame..