Juz reached hm finali aft a very long & tiring dae @ werk.Phew i m aching all over & i neva feel so tired & shagdelic lyke dis for a very long tyme.Dats lyfe i must say cos im nt born wif a "silver spoon" bt hey i feel bersyukur wif wat i've nw even though sumtymes i kinda feel so fedup & stress wen money issue is concerned!!
ma debts tk abis2....werk lyke siow to clear ma twin's shit!! i simply sumtymes hate her though i must admit i still luv her rgdless wat she did to me.

Yest i've a very bad drem.I dreamt of Aditz & its been ages i last weep & cried very sadly in ma dreams.The last tyme i weeped in ma dremz was i was ard 13/14 yrs old wen i dreamt ma dad passed away while on duty @ werk.

In ma dremz yest, i dreamt aditz met wif a very big accident.Wen the news broke,i quickly rushed over 2 e hosp & only to find out dat hes oredi engaged to sumone.
He was disfigured due to e accident till i myself cld no longer recognised him

He was hospitalised for 2mths & his fiancee leave him upon seeing him in dat state.The best part is even im angry,mad & sad to find out e truth,i even to e extent cari her fiancee nt to leave him especially wif Aditz current state & condition.

I was by his side every nitez aft werk to visit him,feed him,talked to him & cheer him up in watever ways i can do.I duno wat happen to his fiancee aft dat.

I was sleeping on the sofa wen suddenly i see doctors & nurses rushing to his ward. on e nite he supposed to b discharged the nx morning.

I quickly went over to chek on him & only to realise dat its was his bed dat was chaotic.Few mins later,i realised he was gone fr dis world & sambut suratan ilahi.
He passed away due to complication.

Dat was reali emotional till aku tersedu sedu cryin.I keep tellin him y doesnt he keep his promise again dat he will pull thru & b strong again.Also i told myself dat nite dat once he is fuli recovered,i will back off fr his lyfe cos i noe im nt e person he luv & wld nt wana him to b miserable & unhapi being wif me.

He left me again & dis tyme its forever.

I woked up in cold sweats & tears cumin out fr ma eyes.Aku mengucap.Tks god its only a dream.I grabbed ma hp & it shows the tyme as 3AM.
Sempat aku doa "Ya allah jauhi lar ape yg aku mimpikan tadi dihindarkan for him".
Aft dat i cant sleep again & aku sembahyang subuh at 6am.

Ma mum used to tell me dat mimpi ard 12-4am is real bt i hope watever happens in ma dream last nyte is juz permainan tdo.

I dun wana anytink bad & mishap to happen to him.Though i neva let ma feelings b known to anyone,i do still care alot for him.

Ya Allah,ampuni lah dosa dosa nye & panjangkan lar usia nye.Amin..........

Todae i gt a very gud news i must shared.I gona to b transfer to Jakarta end of nx mth for werk.I will b stationed der ard 6mths to one year.All depends on hw tings & e operation took place smoothly.

The bad news is i've to stop skolin & drop everytink here temporary.Antara byk2 tempat i was transfer to Jakarta...haiz...

Gona miz ma fwenz & ma family.Entah lar ma heart is half hearted.I cant leave ma mum alone again cos she is nt in gud health.

Adib,he msged me last two daes tellin me dat his hp is still alive & kicking.
So glad dat i did not lose ma frenship wif him over wat happen bet us.

k lar gt to go & bump in ma bed nw.Tomorrow another dae...a very long dae.

Psst..i started praying oredi since last week & i feel so hapi & wonderful internally.I forgot ma god,Allah recently & i hope he will forgive me n ma sins.