/free me
A gal known as Marni who neva give up on tings & always insist to hv her own ways.Dats SIMPLY ME!!!

/them

nInY
Sharanikhamis
STgeng
Sepet

/secrets


x

skin by heroine
9.12.05
perhaps...love

Juz came back home after watching a chinese musical drama,"Perhaps love" all by myself @ Bugis Junction.Wana go hm aft werk,bt i feel so tensed n bored after cooping @ hm for so long..So after a hard dae of werk 2dae, i give myself a reward by treating to a movie..Its been years i watch a movie alone bt i really need to b alone at dis moment.

The show is rather slow bt its kinda touching.Dis guy played by Takeshi go nearly insane n depends on medicine to makes him asleep all bcos of a gal he luv n waited for 10years bt ended the gal leave him to b wif sumone else dat makes her wat she is now.I guess i m the only weird ppl der watching alone n the only malay watching a chinese show.
At first i juz wana to window shpg bt ended it is still to early for me to go home n ended in a queue n grab a show.

Dis week i seem nt to b not my real self.I m more quiet n reserved n prefer to b alone.Mayb i m piss off wif ma damn hair dat stupid amoy did to me.I juz wana to trim bt ended she cut ma hair reali layered n damn short!! I m definately so PISS OFF cos i reali took care of ma hair n ended being lyke an amoy n reali cina bukit!!
Also dis week is the most saddest moment of ma lyfe.Another few hrs more, my
x-fiance is geting married..Phew..I juz cannot describe this stupid n miserable feeling i m having rite nw.People who regret their mistakes n lost sumone who dey always take for granted will only understand wats the pain i m currrently goin thru..Its a test fr god to me n i can only pray dat he cld give me alot of strength n encouragement to overcum dis hardship.

I got no one to turn to or sumone who is willing to lend their shoulders for me to cry on.The person who i m comfortable is either too busy wif their lyfe or having a major problem themself.I need fwenz who reali understand the pain i m goin thru w/o myself to do the koling n tell ma stupid story again,wat i've been feelings etc.
Bt nobody seems to noe me dt well except for ma best fwen.She can feel dat i m lost n sad.Bt i cannot b selfish n add more prob to her cos she is pregnant now n worst still UNWED!! I juz hope her abortion on 20/12 will go smoothly n i promised to visit her aft werk dat dae.

I cant run away fr facts n i have to accept wat is written for me.I make mistakes,learn fr it n makes me a better person fr der.Otherwise i wun noe wat is pergorbanan,tears,true luv n the feelings of being engaged to sumone who reali luv u

Haiz,der is no more tears i cld cry over a spill milk or return back to my past n amend my mistakes before its too late.Everything is over n i hv to b brave enuf to accept the challenge n look ahead of ma present n future.

As for now,ma studies n ma career cum first n ma priority.Oh ya Aditz msg me today askin me y i've been missing n askin me where to rent baju for d&d which cld rent based on theme.All i cld replied is to call 100 svc operator n enquire for hse of costume no.Der is notink for me to ans him bk y i've gone missing etc.
There is notink for me to tell him bt dat.To me its all over n he is juz a fren which dun reqd ma silent apperance to b explained.He will neva changed n dats a fact n of course i no longer had the strong feelings i've had for him in the past.
Its all over

Neway i m hooked to dis song,Becos of u by Kelly Clarkson.The lyrics reminds me of sumone n dedicated to dat person..Hmhmhm..watever neway its juz a song.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's em